Relationships are the testing ground

Relationships are the testing ground , the ultimate proof of our ability to love ourselves.The bright and sometimes harsh searchlight of love will bring to the surface anything in ourselves that we have not loved . That is why relationships afford the greatest opportunities for us to learn to stay centered in our love for ourselves.Only by loving ourselves, can we really love others . Until you learn to love yourself, you will always be demanding from others what you have not given yourself.Love then becomes need , not a celebration . In every human being resides the needs for closeness and independence.We have deep urges to merge with another person,and we have equally strong urges to develop ourselves completely as separate beings.Ideally we would surrender ourselves fully to union with others at the same time that we explore and express our own full potential.Often it is not so easy , many of us are blocked in one or the other of the two dimensions,sometimes both.We may not allow ourselves to get close,but we may not allow our selves to be independent, either . We end up locking ourselves in a intermediary zone, a psychological purgatory , neither in union or autonomous. Often closeness in a relationship will bring fear to the surface and the affected partner attempts to control the relationship to keep from being abandoned.Another trait used is invalidation, if the partner is wrong or invalidated , abandonment will not seem such an issue but will reinforce beliefs and insecurities. Learning to love yourself , in the passion and friction of close relationships
All relationships have their ups and downs. Relationship therapy is all about creating a healthier new relationship with yourself so that you can create that healthier relationship with your partner. You can discover why you fell in love with your partner, and what lies underneath your frustrations, disagreements, communication struggles, resentment, not feeling loved, feeling alone in your marriage, loss of trust, and infidelity.
Many of the couples that I see have loving and passionate relationships – but they want more. Relationship counseling helps couples — married or not — recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships.
Through marriage counseling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding your relationship or, in some cases, going your separate ways.
Relationship counseling really gets down to recognizing that your partner is reflecting back to you your own opportunities for healing. You are the one feeling hurt or angry or unloved. Your partner can’t fix that for you. When you love that part of you that feels unloved, then you can receive the love from your partner. Life changes, and so can you! Call Stuart: 07825 599340

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